Lady M was in a dilemma. Not to the Hamletian proportions, but a dilemma nevertheless. The culprit is, as always, Lord M. Lord M and friends were discussing a day out with family while the over enthusiastic Lord M promised home made (read ‘Lady M made’) Indian finger food for the picnic. All this, without bothering to consult (beg) Lady M.
Lady M wanted to be firm and refuse to provide the goodies, in which case, Lord M, in order to save the face will be forced to hit the supermarket shelves for readymade stuff, which will eventually be labeled as ‘home made by Lady M’. As Lady M can’t have the friends to believe that she made those substandard stuff, it’s either cook something or be branded as a no-good cook in front of friends.
Lady M, who has an ego as big as an elephant when it comes to cooking, decided to concede this time, all the while thinking of ways to take it upon Lord M in the most appropriate manner. Lord M, having foreseen the big thunderstorm brewing, had been extremely cooperative and courteous as the picnic day was approaching and even offered to clean up the entire kitchen once Lady M was done with cooking.
Lady M, desperately wanted to impress the picnic goers, planned to make Onion Bhaji, Grilled Tuna patties, Vegetable samosas and a spicy summer fruit salad. The dips would be coriander chutney and spicy raisin chutney, with fresh lemonade for the under aged.
The grilled Tuna patties were made first as the patties can be frozen and can directly go to the grill during barbeque. Lady M chopped an onion, 2 green chillies, one or two garlic cloves and a piece of ginger and emptied them to a teaspoon of olive oil in the heated pan. While they were browning, she opened 3-4 cans of tuna flakes, drained the water and added them to the pan. In went ¼ tsp of turmeric, 1 tsp of garam masala and salt. As tuna does not need a lot of time to absorb the flavors, she switched off the cooker and then added a healthy dollop of tomato ketchup, salt, cheese and some coriander leaves. Some boiled potatoes were mashed with salt and added to tuna along with an egg and shaping the mix to round patties was kid’s play.
Next, Lady M heated a table spoon of oil and popped mustard seeds and cumin (1/2 tsp each) in preparation for the samosas. Into the popped mustard, went one onion, a small piece of ginger, two three green chillies, all chopped fine in the food processor and then in went finely cut vegetables – potatoes, carrots, beans and some frozen peas. The vegetables were left to cook on steam on a low flame till soft. In the meanwhile, Lady M rolled the ready made puff pastry sheets to squares. Ones the vegetables are done, she added some lemon juice and salt and coriander leaves to the mixture, mashed them a bit and dolled spoonfuls of the aromatic stuff onto the pastry sheets. The sheet was folded to form perfect triangles and the samosas just needed to be deep fried for 5 minutes or so.
The fruit salad was meant to be a colorful event – juicy strawberries, pink water melon, Creamy yellow honey melons, pink and green grapes and berries – all co-existing snugly in a bowl with honey and chat masala topping (The chat masala was taken out of packet sourced from one of the Indian shops). There are green apples and yellow bananas too, but the wise lady would not be cutting them till the last moment, or they will discolor and look less appealing.
The coriander chutney was easy peasy Lemon Squeezy – a bunch of coriander, 4 table spoons of fresh coconut and a green chilly , ground well and then half a lemon squeezed on top and a sprinkling of salt. The health–un-conscious ones can go for a garnish to intensify the flavour by popping mustard seeds and black gram seeds in a tea spoon of cooking oil.
The raisin chutney was next РSaut̩ 3-4 garlic, 1 dry red chilly and 1 cup of raisins on slow fire in a bit of hot oil, and blended well to form a ketch-up like consistency.
While Lady M was in the kitchen, Lord M , the eternal peace maker and a suitable candidate for UN, had managed to bathe and put a nappy on a wriggling toddler, who suddenly decided that he was too grown to use a nappy and proudly produce a full load of bed sheets and smelly clothes every 24 hours. And countless waking ups at night too.
While the hamper was being set, Lady M thinly sliced white onions, sprinkled some salt on them and dunked the onions into a batter of 1 cup chick pea flour (Besan), one egg, some cumin seeds, half a teaspoon of red chilly powder and some coriander leaves all mixed with water to form a thin batter. And spoonfuls of the batter coated onion went into the chip pan to form deeply fried sweet-smelling golden onion bhajis. No wonder Lady M is considered as the best onion bhaji maker around. Though she graciously shares her recipe with everyone, she had never disclosed that the secret behind her crunchy-on-the-top-and-soft-inside bhaji lies in pinch of soda bi carbonate added to the batter at the last moment.
So all was set to go for the picnic, when Lady M suddenly remembered the lemonade. As there was no time to squeeze lemons to a jar of water, and slot in a teaspoon or two of ginger juice, some honey and mint leaves for the ’zing’ factor, they stopped at the nearest food store, grabbed a bottle or two of readymade lemonade and emptied them to the pitcher. Lady M sprinkled a few mint leaves and some sliced lemon rings for that homemade touch. Thus a cheater’s version of homemade lemonade was born. Yes, Lady M is an avid follower of Delia Smith.
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